Yesterday, Wednesday, the schedule called for “sharing and fellowship.”  As we did with the prayer time the day before, the men divided into two groups, and the ladies met together.

I chose to ask the men how they demonstrated love to their wives and children, following Paul’s commands about those relationships in the book of Ephesians.

It took some effort to draw them out, they being reluctant to talk of such private matters.  It was interesting that it was some of the younger men, men whom I’d taught, who were most forthcoming.  Two of them “took marriage” less than 3 months ago.

I asked them how they handled disagreements with their wives.  One said, “When she is angry, I say nothing.”  All chuckled and agreed.  I tried to determine whether this meant that they simply withdrew, or that they thought it best not to answer back and continue the argument.

But the roadblock came when I asked, “When the problem is your fault, what do you do?”

They silently sat and looked at me.  I tried again, “When you’re the one who’s done the wrong that leads to the argument, what do you do?”

One of the 15 young men I’d taught who’d been wed just two years said, “Ask forgiveness.”  This was met with laughter.  “That’s right,” I said.  But my words were lost in the babble of voices as 22 men talked back and forth.  Then when the volume died down, one of them said, “Here a husband does not say ‘sorry’ to his wife.  It is our culture.”

I immediately stood up and held my Bible aloft.  “This book is for all cultures.  Peter tells us to live with our wives in an understanding manner, treating them as precious, so that God will hear our prayers.  We are called to be different than our culture.  The best way to show Jesus to our culture is to treat our wives differently than what is normal in our culture.”

There is much unbiblical behavior that can be condoned by playing the culture card.  Indeed, how many men in our Western world operate by the same rule that these men were touting?  How often do men in the good old US of A excuse their rude behavior to their spouses because “men do not tell ‘sorry’ to their wives?”

I’m sorry, but God’s Word trumps culture every time.

P.S.  The utter irony of this post is that just after I finished composing it I opened my big mouth in an unkind way and had to say “I’m sorry” to the person who means the most to me in this life.